Life’s been a slump as of late. Ths feeling of stuckness, of fighting up a hill that never ends when I can’t see the top… where to go from here? It’s unclear sometimes, even though I think I’m better than where I was a month or so ago. I have more projects, more things to do for joy than for some alterior purposeor just for money. Not that money is unimportant, or necessarily bad; it’s just that I want to do things for me, not for someone else’s dream to earn my keep, persay.
In elementary school, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder after months of washing my hands until they bled and fears of leaving the house that left me with teary-eyed panic attacks almost every day. I’m generally one to question the designation of things as “disorders” (all brains and bodies work a bit differently and…
I may have grown up an athlete and child of athletes, but triathlon training is all new to me. I did medal in my first-ever adventure race this past month (woo! nonhumble brag) but next year, I want first. Which means it’s time to start planning. For end-of-season, meaning the time right after my successful…
Myself. Which, I know, sounds… arrogant? Selfish? Hear me out. I couldn’t say what I think defines “success.” Sometimes I think success is being happy, or satisfied; no one is happy or satisfied all the time, though, and is that really all it is to succeed? To feel well yourself? I used to think it…
Oh, my gosh – all of my childhood, when I look back? I’m sure that’s not true. I had happiness in my childhood, largely; but also some difficulties. When I think about small me now I realize how little empathy I was given, even from well-meaning adults. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but…
I thought this article on Languishing: What it is and How to Help Yourself was a pretty good read that helped me identify a pattern in the blah-ness I’ve been feeling as of late. Full disclosure that I am formally diagnosed with clinical depression, but I fall into a category of “moderate depression” that sometimes…